Crossover-Ma
by SSJ Mighty Aphrodite-chan
Summary: What happens when Dogma meets several different animes? DBZ/GW/SM


Goodbye Love ****

Crossover-ma

Cast List:

Usagi Tsukino Bethany

Goten Son Jay

Trowa Barton Silent Bob

Duo Maxwell Loki

Wufei Chang Bartleby

Trunks Briefs Rufus

Minako Aino Serendipity

Vegeta Metatron

Ami Mizuno God

Krillin Gang Leader

Mamoru Chiba NoMan the Golgothan

Quatre Winner Azrael

Rei Hino Liz

Heero Yuy Demonic skaters

Yuuichirou Kumada Pope

Relena Peacecraft Nun at the beginning

An old man looks over the empty beach. The sun would be going down soon, so all was illuminated with yellow/gold light. He sports a simple old overcoat and dusty pants. He inhales the salty air and lets a small smile cross his features.

Behind him sat a large arcade 'Crown Game Parlor' read in large lettering. The doors were welcoming. Three young boys... looking more alike than one would like... skate around on Roller blades, passing a street hockey ball between them. All have unruly brown hair and cold Prussian blue eyes. (* A.N. can we guess who it is? ;) *) The old gentleman watches them briefly and then turns back to the ocean, checking his watch.

The three skid to a halt. They look to each other and nod.

The old man leans out onto the railing that looks over the beach. He inhales once more. Such a peaceful day.

One of the skaters checks him into the railing, sending him falling to his knees. The two others start to savagely beat him with the hockey sticks as he crumbles beneath them. The blades hit him repeatedly on the head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I don't understand - how can you bade your lack of belief in God on the writings of Lewis Caroll?"

Duo walks next to Relena in a semi-busy terminal. They walk through the metal detectors and continue walking, Relena holds a donation can.

Duo shook his head. "Not Alice in Wonderland. Through the Looking Glass. Look at 'The Walrus and the Carpenter'. It has a meta- metaphorical meaning."

She looks up startled. "I wasn't aware of that."

"See." He started. "It's a thing about organized religion. The Walrus could be... Buddah or the Hindu Elephant god, Lord Ganesha. The carpenter is Jesus Christ... OBVIOUSLY." he sighs. "That takes all the religions. Then what do they do? They eat them. They eat the oysters. I don't know what it says to you, but to me it says that faiths based on these religions ensures destruction."

Wufei sits in a row of seats by the arrival gates. He's polishing his already shiny katana. A stream of travelers move though, eyeing him warily as he moves the cloth up and down the dangerous metal, his eyes taking on a dangerous gleam.

"Basically. Organized religion is baaaad news. You don't want anything to do with it." Relena turns to walk away, but he grabs onto her hand. "Wait up! I'm not finished yet!"

Wufei scowls at the people as they continue to pour by him. Duo drags Relena to the seats by Wufei and sits down. "Through the Looking Glass - a children's tale? I think not."

Relena looks at him. The strange glint in his eye tells her more than she wanted to know. 'This guy was nuts! Maybe she should just humor him.' "I've... I've never really thought about it like that." 'Yes Relena. Good save.'

"Just go! Get out and eat life up! Go use the money you've been collecting to buy yourself... a... what do you call it?" Her eyebrow raises. "That was it! A "Escort"!" She sighs and stands.

  
"Thank you sir. I will do that." She walks off. A passerby tries to put some money in her can but she yanks it away. 'I've had enough of this terminal. I'm going back to the church.'

Duo turns around and sits down next to Wufei.

"Why do you do that?" He asks gruffly. "You know God. He talked to you. You just claimed atheist. Spill."

"Come on Wu-man!" He says grinning. "You know I don't believe any of that shit. I like to fuck with the clergy." Wufei opened his mouth. "-And don't you dare say in more ways than one. My days in that field is over. Now. You. Why do you come here all the time?"

Wufei smirked. "I like to scare the weaklings." Duo shook his head.

"I should have guessed. Now what was so friggin' important that I had to miss cartoons this morning? If it was to share in your half-assed obsessions with fear, I'm going to slug you."

"You're not going to believe me when I tell you, but we're going home."

Duo looks over the popcorn. "Lemme have some."

"No. Look what someone sent us in the mail." He passes Duo the article, while Duo pouts.

"... Did you just say we're going home?"

Wufei took a deep breath. "For someone with a past like yours Duo, you catch on surprisingly slow."

Duo picks up the article and begins to read. "Cardinal Kumada cuts ribbon on Catholicism - Wow! Campaign." He turns to Wufei. "And?"

Wufei grits his teeth. "Keep reading."

"Updating the church... television spots... Papal consent... rededication..." Once again he turns to Wufei. "Again - and?"

Wufei snatches the article from Duo's hands. "The Re-dedication of Saint Michael's Church on it's hundredth anniversary is the kickoff of a new campaign that seeks to bring the Catholic Church back into the mainstream. With a papal sanction, the archway entrance to the century old, Jersey shore house of worship will serve as a passageway of plenary indulgence, which - according to Catholic beliefs - offers all who pass through it's arches a morally clean slate." He looks over to Duo whose eyes are beginning to droop. He is looking tired and bored. "You still don't get it do you?" he asks, straining to keep control and not strangle his friend.

"No. I don't. Are we leaving now?"

They start walking.

Wufei sighed. "If you walk through the church's front door on the day or the re-dedication ceremony, your soul is wiped clean of any and all existing sin, more so than the sacrament of penance could ever offer. It's a plenary indulgence! I don't know why I never thought of this before."

Duo looks at him questionably. "So... you're saying that... if we walk through the doors... we go home?"

"No." He said, taking another deep breath. "By passing through the doors, our sins are forgiven. Then all we have to do is die-"

"Wait wait wait! I don't want to die Wu-man!"

  
"Do you want to be here for a few more eons?"

"No way! But what if the arch thingy doesn't work? What then? Hell? Fuck that."

"Impossible. If we cut off our wings and become mortal.. then die with clean souls.. there's no way to keep us out. They have to let us in."

Duo, who seems to be running out of arguments, snatches the article back from Wufei. "Who sent this thing anyway?"

Wufei glares at him. "I don't know. Somebody who's looking out for us, I guess. Does it matter?"

Duo opens his mouth to speak, but Wufei glares at him, silencing him. After a few minutes of walking in silence, Duo turns to him. "Yeah, but this is church law not Divine Mandate. It's fallible."

"I don't expect you to remember this, but what was one of the last promises imparted to Peter the Pope by the Son of God before He left?"

Duo looks clueless.

"Whatever you hold true on earth..."

"Stop! I know this one!" He yells grinning. "I'll hold true in Heaven."

"So if the Pope says so, God must adhere. It's dogmatic law."

"Let it never be said that your anal retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results."

"That may be one of the smartest things I've heard you say in a thousand years... then again, you can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus."

"Woah woah. There's just one thing I think I should do before we leave. You know, to get up back on his good side."

"What's that?" He asked, in a much exasperated voice.

Duo smiles and digs through his pockets, finally bringing out a magazine article. "This is something I've been dreaming about for five years now. Read."

The article shows a Barney-like gold-hued cow, alongside various profit charts and text.

"...Mooby the Golden Calf? What the hell kind of thing is this? Why are you showing this to me?"

"I want to hit them."

"Are you nuts?" He asks, crumpling the article. "We're days from getting back and you want to jeopardize it because you have a soft spot for the good ol' days?!"

"What better way to show I've repented than by resuming the position I denied... thanks to you."

"A killing spree is not going to make things better for us."

"We're not talking about killing here. We're talking about... uh..." Duo fumbled for words. His eyes brighten. "Divine Justice." Wufei seems to be considering this.

"What if you're wrong?"

"It wont matter. Like you said - we pass through the arch and we're forgiven anyway." Wufei is still considering it. "If I had a dick I'd go get laid... but we can do the next best thing."

The step into an open elevator. Wufei looks over at him. "And that would be?..."

"Lets kill people."

The guy beside him on the elevator reacts. Duo just smiles at him as the door closes.


End file.
